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It takes courage to get your cute on to meet someone for a first coffee date. In my experience of going out with 120 men in five years (this was not a life goal!There’s always the possibility he will leave after 10 minutes explaining he’s just not attracted to you (as happened to me once). ), about half of the first dates don’t result in a second.But if you are committed to your goal of finding a special sweetie, you can’t give up.And you’ll be amazed at how having an adventuresome spirit is alluring to many men!This is an excerpt from Dipping Your Toe in the Dating Pool: Dive In Without Belly Flopping, part of the Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 series. For more dating advice, read Long Distance Relationship Pros and Cons by the Dating Goddess.
Some men find a dazzling smile trumps a few extra pounds. Sometimes it takes others to see assets we mistakenly call liabilities. You can avoid many dud dates by talking to a potential suitor a few times on the phone before agreeing to even coffee.
Most have at least one of the following: receding hairline (if any hair at all), paunch, some “baggage” from past relationships, kids still needing some guidance and perhaps loans, and some less-than-stellar housekeeping habits.
Know what you can live with and what are deal breakers.
Expecting a man to act like you and your gal pals is setting yourself up for disaster.
So, here’s my dating advice – instead of being judgmental, try to be curious and “in wonder.” Think, “Let me imagine a scenario where this would be considered appropriate.” Of course, if you are wondering that too often, probably time to let this one go.
I’ve congratulated myself when a man wanted a second date that would have taken all day and I would have felt trapped, yet I insisted on something shorter.