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” or “What is the situation eliciting that’s making me resentful or stressed? If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically, Gionta said.
” Then, mull over your options: “What am I going to do about the situation? Ignoring your own needs might have become the norm for you. Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too.
Gionta likes the following books: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time and Boundaries in Marriage (along with several books on boundaries by the same authors).9. Of course, we know that it’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through.
Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, Gionta said.
Also, think about the people you surround yourself with, she said. For instance, if your workday is eight hours a day, but your co-workers stay at least 10 to 11, “there’s an implicit expectation to go above and beyond” at work, Gionta said.
It can be challenging being the only one or one of a few trying to maintain healthy boundaries, she said.
Having healthy boundaries means “knowing and understanding what your limits are,” Dr. Below, she offers insight into building better boundaries and maintaining them.1. You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand.
Consider “What I am doing or [what is] the other person doing? How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries.We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member.