Dating in a post dating world
If he had responded in condescension or acted as if it didn't matter, that would have been an issue for me. It’s taken intense effort to stay with our conversations rather than bolt in fear, frustration, and sadness over feeling misunderstood. When my boyfriend and I began dating over a year ago, and immediately had the most open, intuitive, authentic communication I’ve ever had with a man, we were thrilled. Something in me clicked one night, and I typed up my own personal story for my blog in hopes that it would help me process and move forward… Well, the guy I was just starting to date happened upon the blog (girls aren’t the only ones to cyberstalk pre-date, I suppose)—and he asked me about it.
For me, these scandals conjure bitter personal memories of sexual harassment, plus painful memories of uncountable times men and society silenced me, explicitly or implicitly. To him, I’m a whole person, my own universe, rather than simply a satellite in his universe—a first for me in a romantic relationship. Why did they continue to engage with their harasser, professionally and personally, even after the awful things he did? I have felt deep frustration and yes, anger, perhaps even moreso because my man is one of the good guys. In making victims 'wrong' by questioning their choices and actions, we perpetrate the cycle of shame and silence. He commended my strength and apologized for his gender.
I loved that we could relate on work matters, but I knew all too well about the industry's thinly-veiled secret culture of misogyny. That made me feel a type of comfort I'd never felt before; I felt safe confiding in him about my own assault when I was 19.
I was quite wary that he, too, would be a 'shitty media man.'My litmus test was simple: casually mention scandals in the media and gauge his reaction. While it should've been the bare minimum for him to react how he did, it's become so rare to find a man willing to listen to my story and not ask invasive questions I wasn't ready to answer or offer refutations about what they would've done in that moment.
These amenities include a snack bar, drink specials, and birthday party specials. The arcade area has racing games and is situated next to the tickets and concession stands. Marionette Theater is a small theater that features brief, live marionette puppet shows. Start meeting new people in Altamonte Springs with POF!As a Black woman who is open to dating any race or religion, I felt incredibly vulnerable. In response to this dude, I just went silent, too angry to even engage.